No Air-Kissing in Italy, Please!

The New York Times recently published an article by Sarah Kershaw about the latest teenage fad in America, an overtly physical activity that is alarming school officials from one end of the country to the other. The shocking truth is that when kids meet up they no longer engage in high-fives or elaborate finger locks and knuckle knocks. They hug.

Apparently a lot of junior high and high school principals,"wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching . . . have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule." Well, of course they have. And they probably stand around with Tasers to protect students whose parents forbid hugging at home.

After all, this might be serious. Our kids could become addicted to hugs and grow up to be chronic huggers, unfit to live in a puritanical society that fears overt physical affection. In order to feed their habit, these misfits would have to emigrate to Italy.

That's what happened to me. I was a closet hugger for nearly half my life and now I'm in squeeze heaven. In Italy we not only hug "hello", we also hug "good-bye" and often throw in a one-armed shoulder clutch right in the middle of a happy conversation! Of course, we also give and receive double-cheek kisses, but a hug is a whole pizza and a kiss on the cheek is just a slice of mozzarella.

My favorite "hiya!" hug is usually the good old-fashioned bear variety (average length: between four and seven seconds), followed by mutual four-handed shoulder or upper arm grabs wherein my hugging partner and I remain connected but otherwise stand separated by approximately 15-20 inches while shouting greetings and compliments at each other.

Not to say that less athletic hugs aren't nice, too. In fact, it's a good idea to do a hardiness calculation before clenching; some folks can only support a gentle, yet sincere clasp with soft back pats and you sure don't want to knock somebody off her or his feet.

Friends of both sexes, in any combination, also assume the handshake position and cheek-kiss while using the spare hand and arm to pull the other person a bit closer. This takes coordination and a particular choreography that must be learned. It's not very satisfying, though, and I don't think it counts as a hug.

As pleased as I am to hug and be hugged, I still have difficulty remembering certain Italian conventions. Although hugs are performed by veering to the left and squishing right sides of the head together, it's the opposite with kisses. When kissing, it's always left cheek first, then right cheek. To err in the first instance bangs foreheads or noses together, causing the participants to laugh but also to lose face. On the other hand, I've made a lot of pleasant mistakes in the cheek-kiss department. Smacko! Dead center! I love Italy.